madilynorama

haha. its true

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 04:25:02 GMT

The Peach

Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM)

Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.

For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you're surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don't get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.

You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you're becoming more selective about long-term love. It's getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who's in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.

Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.

Your exact female opposite:

The Nymph

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM)

Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM), The Playboy (RGSM), The Boy Next Door (RGLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - personals | Dating

Repost from myspace today. I am angry as fuck.

Mon, 19 May 2008 23:34:13 GMT

My mom is such a cuntbag.
She wont let me go and get my hair done, so I went out and bought my own hair dye so I could do it myself for much cheaper. Seems smart, right?
I come home and get yelled at because I am going to dye my own hair, the usual color, because I have asked her multiple times to get my hair done and she refuses. Last time I got it done was before spring break. and she has to be an ass and not let me go get it done because i "got it done not too long ago". FUCK THAT SHIT, the vain bitch gets her hair done at LEAST every 4 weeks. so I am doing it myfuckingself.
And then she tells me that because my phone got stolen, I have to pay for my new one BY MY SELF out of MY COLLEGE MONEY. And she expects me to buy all of my college clothes by my fucking self.
Does this seem logical? She NEVER said that I would have to buy my own replacement phone.
I AM HER FUCKING KID, NOT A GOD DAMN BORDER IN MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE.
THis woman gets close to a thousand dollars a month for me and I have to buy my own fucking clothes? WHen I am trying to save for my college? This doesnt fucking seem right. I hate everyone. I hope everyone just dies.
MY STEPMOTHER IS A CUNTBAG AND A DRUNK AND DESERVES TO ROT IN A FUCKING HOLE.
She does not have her morals in the right place. Or her fucking heart.
Wait, scratch that.
She doesnt even have a fucking heart.

well damn....

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:43:09 GMT

I wish that someone would think of me in that way.
It seems like no one ever does.
=\
fuckity fuck
I need to get a boyfriend and get some sex before I burst from want.
But alas, anyone I like is so far away.
Ugh.
Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone.
And a happy new year, since I will probably not post anything for a while.

Aww

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:12:06 GMT

Yay, I talked to someone I hadn't in a long time today and it made me really happy to hear from him.
Kind of made my day. I feel really loved lately, and school has been going really well. Making lotsa friends. Some new, some old, but this maked me really happy.
I feel at home.
^____^

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 10:18:23 GMT

I dont like waking up earlier than I have to, but I woke up.
I had this dream.
And it makes me want.
I dont understand why I get emotional, its very stupid because I can't do anything about this wanting, but I guess thats okay.

Things should work out.
I hope they do.

I'm and uber-dorky nerd. : [

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 19:55:09 GMT

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 01:15:37 GMT

Hey everybody!
I've decided I really want to graduate so I can be closer to atlanta.
I'm gonna be straight up honest...
I really want to be close to someone.
I havent touched anyone in freaking....three months.
Argh.
Damn hormones.

Oh boy

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 02:16:15 GMT

I feel quite stupid tonight.
Specially for crying.
I think I need to talk to someone.
I feel like shit.
Ugh.

You know...

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:45:29 GMT

I really need to stop being me.
I mean, I enjoy me. But lots of things I do...I hate.
I really need to stop calling people. Not just certain people, but everybody.
I never really seem to have anything important to say.
I feel kind of funny.
Like, that state of hating yourself, but not really hating yourself.
Maybe just being annoyed with how you are.
I get lonely way too fucking easily.
And I'm sorry guys.

Bahaha.

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:47:03 GMT

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 19:46:57 GMT

So, I was thinking last night while I was talking to people.
And then I had this kind of monologue in my head.
It was like this:
You know, after all the hurt that someone has been through with relationships; someone that they love hurting them, cheating, or moving away and breaking their heart...all someone can do is wait till someone comes along that makes them forget about all the hurt that other people have caused. But not completely forget, because, after all, that is life. And memories are meant to stay with you. Just someone who's love somehow outshines the other's, and makes you forget about the hurt when you're with them.
There's my thought for today : ]
Insightful, huh?

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 00:21:08 GMT

Ever have one of those days where you just want to feel something real, something tangible?
Today is one of those days.
I want to touch someone, just so I can feel how someone should feel you know?
There's something I've missed in this last year.
I had a little taste of this feeling, but it was far too short.
Sometimes I don't feel like it was real, that I imagined it.
Maybe it's all in my head.
But I just yearn for someone or something, you know?
I want to be able to feel someone next to me, touch and be touched, have a connection.
Physical and mental.
I want it.
Bad.
Because, lets face it.
Theres something about seeing everyone around you with someone to touch that makes you want what they have.

Want

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 01:46:34 GMT

I'm craving something.
Something physical
And mental.
Something....stimulating.

I'm feeling really frisky tonight, and I have no idea why.
*growls*

What am I afraid of?

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 00:06:59 GMT

Ha.
That one is easy.
Being alone for the rest of my life.

So I just

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:59:57 GMT

Took two surveys...
and the result of one is fun/love is most important to me.
And then the other was that I am 100% VERY KINKY.
I scare myself sometimes, I swear.

SO I watched

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 11:34:12 GMT

Hitch the other day over at Jamilla's, and it was pretty great. That is a funny movie. Not to mention insightful. And right now I'm waiting on my ride to work. : ] She needs to hurry up and calllll meeee.
I'm too impatient.
Lol.
NO doubt about that.
I just want to be over with school right now.Even though it hasn't even started...lol. So I can hurry up and get down to Atlanta and start my life again. I like new starts, new beginnings, new friends. New loved ones. New love interests. New influences.
:]

Passion? Lol. Okay, quiz people.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 23:04:55 GMT

You scored as Passion, You are very passionate whether that passion is good or evil has yet to be determined. You have great power over others and they seem to flock to your service. You are very competative almost to a fault. Perhaps you should let someone else win for a change?

</td>

Passion

58%

Eyes full of Pain

42%

Diamond Eyes

33%

Mysterious

25%

What do your eyes reveal about you?(PICS!)
created with QuizFarm.com

Sooooo its been a while.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 23:47:13 GMT

And I'm really hyper. I justr drank a huge glass of apple tea that I got in turkey.
Tasty stuff. ANywho. I'm watching the incredibles right now : ] And I havent seen it in a long time.
The trip to greece was pretty awesome. And I have a new boost of self confidence. It makes me feel nice. : ]
I spent close to 600 on my tirp. : \ lol
Oh well. It was so worth it.
The cruise was amazingly fun, and its weird how you meet the most interesting people when you least expect it.
Lol.
Anywho. I will go before I start off on a "I want a boyfriend" rampage.
Lol
Laterrrrrrrrrrrr

Shocking

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:35:18 GMT

I found out that someone likes me yesterday, and it made me feel really great.
Why? Because someone hasnt told me that in a while and it made me feel really great.
It made me smile.
Why? Because its nice to be liked, and believe it or not, I am human! Isnt that amazing.
Brownies are wonderful. And I am really kind of tired. >.<
So I am pretty okay right now. I really miss public school. And I dont like my mother as a person. Her morals and attitude are corrupt. Its extreemely sad to see. I used to be a bit blind to it, but now, its like BAM. SO FUCKING OBVIOUS. Sorry for the cursing, kids.
And I really wish I could go back to Waccamaw. Because I am so tired of that fucking school and all of the clones going there.

Repost from MySpace. Why? I felt it would be nice to put here, too.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 03:34:58 GMT

I think its nice that we don't talk anymore. Actually, lets say that we dont talk much anymore. Last night made me think about a few things. But its somehow all good isnt it? I mean, you're going away, you have other, better things to look for. I've tried a few things to stop feeling for you, and its finally worked.
You're not going to be here anymore, and its not like we have anything else to say to eachother, right? I have the feeling that I am going to be practically non-existant in your life except for that occasional "Hello" from afar. I hate that, but what else can one do?
Not a lot, I tell you. Things happen, and they happen for a reason. I am proud of myself. For once, my mind has outweighed my heart and my feelings, making me look at things logically. Sure, I hurt, but I am always hurt. I carry a lot of things around with me. I guess it will all come back to get me when I am older, and make me some sort of crazy, but whatever.
I'll go on. Life goes on. You lose friends, sadly, but I guess its all for the best.
But I really don't know. I don't make a lot of sense do I?
I just hate it to lose people who mean so much to me. Its my biggest fear. Which is why I try and hold on. I guess its cliche to say you gotta let go. But you really do. I've learned that. Sometimes things just don't work. They just don't.
But you know, I will never give up having my friends to please Mom. Jeannette has become one of my best friends, I feel like, and I would never give her up because mother thinks that I should. I will just find ways around what she has to say. Because she makes me feel happy. Its great to hang out with people that make you feel at home, and I've missed that. I feel at home with her, with Paul, with Kira, with Kait, with Kelly, with Bex, with Ms Patty, with Sarah, with Jaime. Its almost like the most important people in there are leaving. But thats fine. I can deal without a love interest. I can deal without seeing someone often (but still talking to them.) And I can deal with whatever is thrown at me. I havent felt at home in a long time, and I finally do.
You know something? I love Jeannette. And Paul. And Kira. And Kelly. And Ms Patty. And Jaime. And Bex. And Kait. And, believe it or not, Sarah.

Anyone else want to be my friend?

Well

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 12:17:13 GMT

I don't think I will make another entry on here for a while. WHy you ask? I don't know, I just don't fucking feel like it.
Wow. I'm fine, I'm okay, really, I swear I am.

Returning bad habit.

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 23:19:58 GMT

So a bad habit of mine has returned.
I won't name what it is.
I will say its not very nice of me to do to myself though.
Its just, I really feel like crap because I have to hide things from people. I don't want to do it anymore, I want to stop.
Both the habit.
And the lying. Because its killing me.
Its hard to keep someone making you so insanely happy to yourself, you know? Its almost like denying yourself happiness.
I don't want to do it anymore. But I can't stop doing it.
I really am happy. I just wish I could figure out what is making me do this.

Things

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:01:37 GMT

I didn't know
I could feel like this.

Early.

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 12:21:12 GMT

Okay, I thought since I was doing nothing right now I would write to you, LJ. There is one thing I am confused about and its annoying me a bit, but I am not really going to say anything about it because its just a silly word, and I probably read too much into things. I feel really happy because I get to see Sarah this week, and Jeannette is probably going to come over tomorrow night, so that should be fun. Sarah makes me smile, and I think Saturday will be really fun.
I feel uncomfortable in my own skin right now. Its as if no matte what I put on, I can't get comfortable. Do you know that feeling? I don't like it, not at all. It doesn't make me happy. And I am almost done with The Boy Detective Fails. I really adore that book. And I'm glad Sarah let me borrow it. Joe Meno is going to be a new favorite of mine.
I feel ugly today. I think when I get home I will watch Imagine Me & You and I will pretend I am Luce and be happy. It is such a wonderful movie. Corny, but wonderful. And it makes me smile. I love flowers. And lilies.

Did you know a lily means that I dare you to love me?

Well, I dare you.
*hands you a lily.*
What will you do?

I feel

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 02:28:38 GMT

"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon." -Practical Magic

Sometimes I feel great. Now is not one of those times. Now is one of those times that I know I should feel great, but I don't. Now is one of the times where I really think about where my life is going. How love is going to play out in my life. How much I really care about people. I really do dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. Does anyone know what I would give for that? I would give anything.

I am feeling the unbearable urge to cry. I think I might just do that. Sometimes its best to just....cry. I don't know why I feel like this. I think I am getting depressed about my personal life. My family and my love to be specific. My family just sucks. I'm not lying, either. They just completely suck. They really do. My love life on the other hand is completely different. I finally found someone I care about an immense amount and the worry that the feeling isn't returned is non-existant. I just...feel like there is something there. Sarah is so amazing and perfect that it makes me want to yell at the top of my lungs how happy I am that I have her. She is truly a savior. I just wish she knew how great she is. She deserves only the best.
I'm so very happy. But I am so tired of hiding who I am from my mom and my brother. And other people. Its like I can't be myself without someone saying something. I honestly am done caring. Have you ever had that feeling?; that you are just done with it all, that feeling that you should just throw everything to the wind, and go with it? That is how I feel tonight. I'm stopping caring what my mother and brother think of me. Even if it means keeping things from them. Even if it means denying who I am when I am around them. Which by the way is not alot, because I try to be out of the house as much as possible.
I am happy.
I am ecstatic.
I am exhausted physically and emotionally.
I'm tired of masks.
I'm tired of feeling alone.
I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of being cautious.
I'm tired of walking on eggshells around people.
And I am tired of caring.

Now that I have that off of my chest, and have probably scared everyone I know, I will be quiet.